We’re up at 6! Everyone had plenty of sleep, so of course we’re all cranky as hell. More meltdowns from adults and children alike.
We’ve got a 70min walk ahead of us to Golden Gate Park so we decide to break it up and get breakfast halfway there. MISTAKE. Feed your children right away. They’re like feral cats – food makes them your friend, otherwise they’re liable to scratch your face off.
The bug’s tantrums are so bad that we have to take turns with him outside the restaurant. While Derek’s out with him the food comes and I’m desperately trying to use all my semaphore knowledge to let him know to come inside, but alas, Derek’s not even looking at me. So, like any reasonable parent, I leave Mouse in the care of a young couple and dash out to get them. (He was chin deep in some pancakes and I was not going to disrupt the only happy child.) The kid didn’t even notice I was gone he was so blissed out on carbs.
We’re back to our walk and things are starting to feel a little sketchy. Later I realize that we’d been skirting the tenderloin. Right before I suggest we turn around I begin to see single women walking and I can assume we’re good. (Hate what this says.) This is a good reminder that we’re in a big city and I need to treat it as such. The whole walk made me really reflective and sad.
We make it to the Koret playground and it’s just as impressive as promised. It’s huge, with tons of unique features and play structures. My kids hang out in three square feet of the sandbox until mouse has consumed his sand quota and we’ve gotta bounce.
Off to the Academy of Sciences! I’m really excited about this place. So it comes as no surprise when the kids take this opportunity to really devolve. They’re both constantly on the verge and only want me to carry them. They’re also pissed that I’d have the gall to hold the other child at the same time. So I’m trying to hold both of my wolverines and keep them from brawling while in my arms. You can imagine the results.
They’re immensely bored with the rainforest exhibit and no butterflies try to land on me so I’m about to chalk this place up as a complete loss until we head downstairs and discover that it’s an aquarium to rival the Shedd. Everything we were missing from the actual aquarium is here and the kids have a complete attitude adjustment. For exactly 20 minutes. Then it’s feeding time.
Dude. These museum cafeterias are insane. They have the shittiest good looking food, and tricksey lines. You stand in one, thinking you can get your food, only to discover after you’ve waited ten minutes in one line that each child’s individual meal components require waiting in additional lines. Every child under the age of ten is screaming their ass off because they’re hungry and their parents are having to navigate a labyrinth of mediocre food options with no end in sight or way to carry it all. Finally we split up and I head to the register with our heat-lamp crusted mac n cheese. I have to set it down to figure out how to add silverware to the tower of shit I’m balancing on the stroller. When I look up, someone’s bussed it. I am defeat. Three employees later I find someone who takes pity on me and replaces the stuff that claims to be macaroni and cheese.
After being in there for thirty plus minutes I look to meet up with Derek outside. But to no avail. The line for the peanut butter and jelly is epic and it takes him even longer to escape the thunderdome. Finally, we sit down and both kids refuse their food in ernest. I can’t blame them, I think, as I pound down the barley edible noodles with gusto. We finally convince them to eat the pbj open faced with banana and begin to settle. It’s no surprise that the building’s fire alarm goes off at this exact moment. As people are flooding out of the building a combination of frustration and fear drive me to load everything/body up and get us all the hell out of there.
We decide to see what a Lyft driver does when confronted with us as passengers and are pleasantly surprised when they seem to care nothing for the law. We make it back to the hotel in time to get Mouse a nap and the bug gets more octonauts. After the respite we’re off to Trader Joe’s and dinner.
Don’t shop hungry. Especially when you have to carry the groceries to a restaurant and then back the mile to your hotel. These practicalities did not occur to me as I’m shoving brie and lemon bars into my basket.
We get to the restaurant. Unload both kids. Both strollers. The backpack. The groceries. Get everyone settled. Start shoving chips in our faces. And they bring us a menu the size of my palm that consists of ceviche and nachos. We’re informed that we’ve come during their, “we’re open, but won’t give you food,” hour. And so now we’re back to frantically trying to find a restaurant the kids will eat at with no luck. So, back to the hotel where it now seems genius that I shopped hungry because we have plenty of brie/bread/tomatoes for hotel picnic dinner.
It’s time for bed. *oy*
Travels with Larson and Co 